I’m fine.

How do you say goodbye to 55 kids that how have learned to love over four and a half months?  How do you tell them you may never see them again, but that you love them?  How do you stop yourself from crying in front of them? How do you stop yourself from crying when they start crying?  Why do we have good-byes?  Is there a culture I could go to where I could run away and never acknowledge the existence that I am truly leaving.

Today I did probably one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I said good-bye to all of the kids, teachers, and volunteers at Mawuvio’s Outreach Program (MOP).  This school was the heart and soul of my experiences in Ghana.  Every moment where I thought I was going to blow up and crash and burn from the cultural problems in Ghana, I could always turn to teaching and know that there is always tomorrow (yes an Annie reference…I know…I know ridiculous). 

I started the day thinking I will be able to say good-bye to them tomorrow since today is a Thursday and there will be school tomorrow right.  In my mind I treated today like any other day…not thinking it was my last precious hours with them.  Then, half way through the day I was informed it was…YET ANOTHER GHANAIAN HOLIDAY TOMORROW.  It is United Africa day…okay a pretty dang cool holiday…but on the last school day I could have with them. 

My outlook turned drastically south.  I found myself hiding at the toilet crying.  These were my last precious moments with the kids.  How do I use them?  How do I swallow the fact that my days are ended?  Four months ago the days seemed ENDLESS.  I was never worried about saying good-bye because I simply thought it would be too far away to worry about…until that very moment.

I spent the afternoon teaching Primary 1…the class I taught the entire semester…about washing hands and families.  Before I knew it…the time was running out…so I managed to fit in a couple rounds of “Around the World” with division…and then BAM…I was done.  We gave our last hugs.  Some cried, some smiled (like what I would have done…not really thinking on the reality of the situation when I was a kid), and some dashed away not really bothering with the truth.  When I asked them how they were, they responded with, “I’m fine.”  This seems to be the only response a Ghanaian can give.  Even if they are sad, mad, hungry, or extremely excited they all respond with “I’m fine.”

I gave kisses on cheeks and promised to call (skype) and write to them…WHICH I INTEND TO DO…and maybe…one day I will be reunited with MOP.

I sit in my almost fully packed room listening to sappy music…wondering…what’s next?  What will I feel throughout the next couple of months?  Going back to the US, going back to school…and beyond.

Thank you everyone for the support through everything and even reading/skimming the blog.  I plan on writing some when I get back…to let you know how reverse culture shock goes…and who knows maybe I will start up another blog (running blog maybe?)…or another through the Peace Corps one day?

Well…unless I have access to a computer again before I fly off…these are my last words from Africa.